Love has the promise of a rich future. We can trust its music, listen to its voice, hope in its song. And like any musician, the song we play is the better for the practice we put in to it. Why do we need to practice love? At the beginning of one's married life it might not seem that this is necessary. However, given a bit of time the problems will set in, the ordinary problems that exist in any attempt we make at relationships.
Where do the problems come from? From different songs being played in our hearts: the song of selfishness, the song of fear, the song of anger, even the haunted melodies of ghosts of the past. We discover that we much as we thought we knew each other, sometimes we and our spouse are singing different melodies and it could be that these melodies make a cacophony rather than a duet.
To trust love's voice then, we need to be aware of the other songs resounding in our hearts. Here's a little exercise that could help you with this:
At the end of the day, think or write or draw about a situation between you and your spouse that wasn't as you had hoped. Use your breath to simply remain in the present as you think about it. Focusing on your breath will help you attune your attention to the reverberation of the event in your body and spirit. Drop the story and the blame and the rehearsing. Just be present to your God and to yourself in a compassionate accepting stance. Invite Jesus into the situation and watch what he does, what he says, how he treats your spouse, how he treats you. Ask his advice. Read a passage from the Gospels.
This little exercise will teach you about the song you want to sing, maybe the faltering melody you actually are singing, and the song Jesus wants to sing in your life.
This exercise is from HeartWork
: an online one-on-one (or two-by-two if you wish to do it with your spouse) program for spiritual development and personal growth. For more information click here
by Sr. Kathryn James